What happened when we asked one simple question:
“What surprised you most about pregnancy?”
It seemed like such a simple question. The kind of question that would bring answers about morning sickness, strange cravings or swollen feet. So we asked our No Taboo Mom community. Instead, we were given something much bigger.
“Nobody warned me about the constant nausea.”
“I never expected constipation to be this bad.”
“Nothing prepared me for the third trimester.”
“Pregnancy was nothing like I imagined.”
“My first pregnancy was so different from my second.”
One comment became another. Then another. Different women. Different countries. Different lives. And yet one message kept repeating itself. There is no universal pregnancy experience. Some women described months of vomiting. Others never felt sick at all. Some struggled to walk because of pelvic pain. Others spoke about unexpected loneliness, constant questions from strangers, or simply feeling vulnerable in ways they had never imagined. The more we read, the less pregnancy looked like a single journey. Instead, it became a collection of stories unfolding side by side. And somewhere between those stories, I recognised my own.
When My Body Was No Longer Just Mine
I was 35 when I found out I was pregnant. Our daughter was planned, and we were incredibly happy. But like many women, I still needed a little time to process the news. Ironically, the first thing I wanted to do was go for a run. I never made it. On my way downstairs, I slipped and badly sprained my ankle. My husband took me to the hospital, and within minutes I discovered something I hadn’t expected about pregnancy.
Everything had suddenly changed. The way doctors approached my body had changed, too. Diagnostic options became more limited. Most pain medication was no longer recommended. “If it hurts,” I was told, “you can take paracetamol.”
That was my first surprise. Not because anyone had done something wrong, but because it was the first time I realised pregnancy changes the way medicine approaches your body. Decisions become more cautious. Options become fewer. Suddenly, every treatment isn’t just about you anymore. That feeling stayed with me long after my ankle healed.
Every Pregnancy Is Different.
Every Body Too.
Physically, my pregnancy didn’t resemble many of the stories we received. I never experienced severe nausea. I wasn’t constantly exhausted. In many ways, I felt surprisingly well. Instead, my biggest challenge became something entirely different. My Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), which had been manageable before pregnancy, suddenly became unpredictable. Finding help wasn’t easy. Many treatments simply weren’t recommended during pregnancy, and there was very little guidance available for women navigating both conditions at once.
It was frustrating, confusing and, at times, lonely. (If you’d like to read more about living with IBS during pregnancy, we’ve shared that experience in a separate article.) That experience reminded me of something our community taught us too. The symptoms may differ. The uncertainty often doesn’t.
The Surprise Nobody Talks About
Looking back, the biggest surprise of my pregnancy wasn’t physical. It was social. Almost overnight, my body no longer felt entirely mine. Suddenly it seemed to belong (at least partly) to doctors, healthcare systems, colleagues, strangers and even people I’d just met.
Everyone had an opinion.
Everyone had advice.
Everyone wanted updates.
People discussed my body as though it had quietly become public. At work, I also noticed something I hadn’t expected. I was running my own company at the time, yet I sometimes felt people had already begun adjusting their expectations of me. Conversations subtly changed. There was an unspoken assumption that perhaps I wouldn’t be able to handle the same projects, the same pressure, the same deadlines. No one announced it. But I felt it.
For the first time, I understood that becoming a mother might change not only my body, but also the way the world would see me professionally. That realisation made me sad. Not because I doubted becoming a mother. But because I realised motherhood often arrives carrying assumptions that women never asked for.
Reading Between Hundreds of Stories
As we read through every answer our community shared, one thing became beautifully clear. There isn’t a “normal” pregnancy.
Some women glow.
Others struggle.
Most experience a little of both.
Some are surprised by relentless sickness. Others by unexpected strength. Some discover how resilient their bodies are. Others discover how vulnerable they feel. Some pregnancies are joyful. Some are frightening. Some are exhausting. Some are peaceful. Many are all of those things at once. Perhaps that’s why asking women to share their experiences matters so much. Not because we’re trying to define pregnancy. But because we’re trying to make space for every version of it.
There Is No Universal Pregnancy
If our question taught us anything, it is this:
Pregnancy isn’t one story. It’s thousands. Every woman enters it with a different body, a different history, different fears, different hopes and different surprises waiting for her. The more honestly we tell these stories, the easier it becomes for another woman to recognise herself in them. Maybe she’ll realise she’s not the only one who cried in the doctor’s office. Or the only one who wasn’t prepared for months of nausea. Or the only one who felt her career suddenly looked different. Or the only one who wondered why nobody had warned her. Because perhaps the most surprising thing about pregnancy isn’t what happens to our bodies. It’s discovering how different every woman’s journey can be. And how much less alone we feel once those journeys are finally shared.
If this story resonated with you, or if there is a subject around womanhood, motherhood, or women’s health that you feel is still not being discussed openly enough, feel free to reach out to us by email or connect with us on Instagram.
Related articles and stories:
Irritable Bowel Syndrome – Dealing with IBS during pregnancy
Mother Blessing – A spiritual celebration of motherhood
Further reading:
Great Expectations: How Gendered Expectations Shape Early Mothering Experiences
The Unbearable Uncertainty of Pregnancy
Did you like this article?
Meet the Author
For most of her career, Ewa Gillen helped brands find their voice. Then motherhood made her question her own. Like many women, she discovered that some of the most life-changing experiences are also the least talked about. The realities of birth. Recovery. Identity. Relationships. Mental health. The invisible challenges that often exist behind carefully curated images of motherhood. No Taboo Mom was created from that realization. As a creative strategist and founder of Gillen Design, Ewa has spent over 15 years working across cultures, industries, and countries. Today, she uses those same skills to explore the stories, questions, and conversations that deserve more visibility. Her goal isn’t to provide perfect answers. It’s to create a space where women feel seen, informed, and less alone.
