My friend had been dreaming of having a baby for some time. When I finally learned the wonderful news, I really wanted to prepare her a one-of-a-kind baby shower party. Last thing I wanted to do was a typical baby shower party full of baby gifts, fancy food, party decorations or games and activities with bunch of girlfriends. Not that there is anything wrong with such events, however I knew my friend simply wanted get together and enjoy a quality time with her female friends talking about womanhood, motherhood and our expriences and feelings. This is when a Mother Blessing came into my mind.
If you have never heard of Mother Blessing ceremony as an alternative for the Baby Shower party, let me quickly explain the difference:
A typical baby shower party is thrown to celebrate the impending birth on a new baby. Depending on your origin, a traditional Baby Shower could include party decoration, food, favours, games and lots of gifts for the baby and the future parents. Games or conversations on such occasion would normally focus entirely on the baby – guessing the baby’s weight, birth date, eye colour etc. A baby shower is therefore a very “baby-focused” event.
Mother Blessing is a ceremonial, personal and intime approach which focuses on the future mother, her needs and wellbeing, her thoughts and feelings. A Mother blessing is designed to celebrate the upcoming birth and the postpartum period. During this event, female friends get to honor the mom-to-be, give her loving attention, answer her questions, support her in her worries and wish her all the strength for the childbirth and the postpartum time. Mother blessing is inspired by the “Blessingway” ritual of Navajo people (Native American group), which celebrated the transition from maiden to motherhood. Since the mother blessing is rather a form of birth affirmations ceremony, this event will be full of spiritual activities that may include praying or meditation, singing or reading literature, meaningful, deep conversations, relaxing treatments for the mother.
Before we started to plan our Mother Blessing, I gifted my pregnant friend a new journal and asked her to write down all her worries and questions regarding motherhood or the birth. We have also agreed on what she likes and dislikes about such events. Once we had all the necessary information, we began to plan the evening. First we have created a ritual space by setting up the room in the most relaxing and comfortable way. We formed a circle on the floor out of cosy cushions, played a pleasant background music and lit the candles. We prepared food for us including healthy snacks and drinks. I cooked a special red beetroot-based soup, which I called „heart soup“, a warming up meal that gives strength. Also as my friend is a chocolate lover so we baked a huge chocolate cake for all of us to enjoy. Our mama-to-be was additionally treated with a warm relaxing herbal foot bath and a foot massage.
One of the wonderful rituals we had prepared for that night was the creation of a power candle. We have all brought different coloured candles and first we we sprinkled each other’s candles with colourful melting wax, to then combine our candles into one special power candle for our pregnant friend. The mother-to-be was suppose to take her candle into labor, light it and know that her girlfriend’s blessings and prayers are with her. Her boyfriend was also supposed to notify us when her labor started so we could then light our candles at home and stay connected during her birth.
Similar to the power candle, we have also made a special birthing/blessing beads bracelet to remind our friend of our love and support during childbirth. Each girl brought one healing bead like rose quartz or rock crystal and we put it all together to form one powerful bracelet. This joint gift served as a powerful talisman on the way to motherhood. Finally, with the permission of mama-to-be, we discussed all questions our friend noted in her journal before the ceremony. We shared experiences and our most intimate stories. We also talked about difficult subjects such as pain, postpartum sex, challenges of motherhood and womanhood. We were eating and drinking, we were playing with tarot cards, we talked, we laughed, we cried. This evening was so powerful I still feel the warmth in my heart when I think of that day. I am glad we could give something so special to our friend and to connect so deeply with other strong women at this day.
What do you think of Mother Blessing ceremony? Have you participated in a similar ceremony. Share with us your ideas for Mother Blessing celebration.
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Meet the Author
Julia Kolbe born in 1986 in Thuringia, Germany. Co-Founder of No Taboo Mom. Married to Robert, mother of Ida (5) and Elsie (3). After working as a psychiatric nurse for couple of years, she began to question healthcare system in Germany. While pregnant and later as a mother of two girls she began to recognize the myriad inadequacies in the health system, especially when it comes to women's health. As a B.A. graduate, she continued her career as a medical instructor in a nursing school. Her goal is to train the best healthcare professionals with a holistic approach. Today, at No Taboo Mom, she shares her real-life experiences with others and connects with woman around the world.
