Motherhood

10 Taboo Questions about Periods: A Mother-Daughter Interview

Let’s Talk About Periods:
Opening the Conversation Between Mothers and Daughters

If you have a daughter, the conversation about menstruation, puberty, and growing into womanhood is bound to come up sooner or later. How you approach these topics will likely be influenced by your own experiences and the way your mother talked to you about them. Thankfully, the dialogue around puberty, for both girls and boys, has become more open and relaxed in many parts of the world. However, this is not yet the norm everywhere.

If you’re feeling unsure about how to start this conversation with your daughter or wondering how to make it a positive and supportive experience, you’re not alone. In this article, we’ve interviewed Sandra, a mother, and her daughter Matilda, who share their personal journey navigating these important topics. Sandra offers insights into how she introduced menstruation to her daughter in a natural and open way, while Matilda reflects on her first period experience and how she’s learned to embrace this part of growing up.

Together, their perspectives provide a heartwarming and practical look at how families can talk openly about periods. Read on to discover their experiences, tips, and advice on having these conversations in a way that feels comfortable and empowering.

Interview with the mother

1. How have you talked to your daughter about menstruation, and have you looked at any books or media with her? If so, can you recommend any?

I’ve always been very open about my period at home, and eventually, the question came up: “Why do you bleed, Mom?” That’s when our conversations about menstruation started naturally. I’ve also found some helpful resources like Girl Stuff: Everything about Your Cycle, Your Period, and Your Sexuality (German) by Sina Oberle (original title: Mädchensache: Alles über deinen Zyklus, deine Periode und deine Sexualität) and Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide To Periods For Girls (English) by Aditi Gupta. Both of these books are excellent starting points for girls.

2. Which menstrual hygiene products did you introduce your daughter to and which does she prefer?

I introduced Matilda to all the options available—period underwear, pads, menstrual cups, and tampons. She really likes period underwear, but it’s a bit tricky to change and wash at school. So right now, she wears her period underwear along with a pad. Halfway through the school day, she removes the pad and relies on the underwear for the rest of the day.

3. Were there any particular challenges or concerns your daughter had about her period, and how did you address them?

She was worried about getting her first period at school and whether it would be noticeable. To help, I advised her to pay attention to signs her body might give, like cramping in her lower abdomen. We also prepared a small bag with period underwear, sanitary pads, and a painkiller—just in case.

4. How do you support your daughter in managing menstrual symptoms such as cramps or mood swings?

Luckily, her mood swings aren’t too intense at this stage. She does experience mild cramps from time to time. When that happens, she takes a hot bath and uses a heating pad, which usually helps.

5. Has menstruation changed the relationship between you and your daughter? If so, in what way?

Our relationship has shifted a bit, mainly because we’ve started talking about different things. It’s hard to say whether that’s purely because of her period or just a part of growing up. I think it’s more a natural progression of puberty and the changes happening in her body.

6. How do you handle situations when your daughter feels uncomfortable or embarrassed about menstruation?

I haven’t noticed many moments of embarrassment, except when it comes to swimming. She doesn’t want to use tampons, and unfortunately, there aren’t many great alternatives yet. We’re planning to try out swim period underwear this summer, but first, we need to find the best-reviewed options.

Overall, she’s pretty open about the topic. She even discusses it with our male friends, which can be surprising for them. They don’t usually expect such openness from someone her age. But so far, the men have responded positively, acknowledging how normal and matter-of-fact she is about it, which is great!

7. Have you introduced any traditions or rituals to mark your daughter’s first period?

We don’t have any particular rituals. However, preparing a little period bag has become a kind of tradition. I’ve already started this with my younger daughter as well.

8. Is there anything you wish you had known before your daughter got her first period? What advice would you give other mothers preparing for this?

I feel like we were well-prepared. There are always new products and tools coming onto the market, which I love! I wish we’d had more of these options back in my day.

The school has done a decent job of providing education on topics related to puberty, the human body, and menstruation, but there’s still room for improvement. I wish schools were more open to bringing in external educators, who could provide young people with a more empowering perspective on puberty and menstruation. Unfortunately, many schools are hesitant to involve outside experts, which I find a bit limiting.

9. How do you support your daughter in developing a healthy relationship with her body and menstruation?

Matilda has a very positive body image and seems comfortable with herself. She even wears a supportive corset in the afternoons and at night, which doesn’t bother her, even during school trips. I’m relieved that she feels so at ease.

10. How do you handle your own period around your daughter?

It’s just a normal part of life for us. Sometimes I’ll mention that I feel cramps, and she’ll ask, “Are you getting your period? I’m supposed to get mine in X days.” Or I might say, “I’m ovulating right now.” She’s learned to listen to her body pretty well.

When I’m not feeling great, which happens often, she’s very helpful. She’ll take the dog out, go shopping, cook, or make me a hot water bottle or a bath. It’s a nice way we support each other.

Have you undergone a vasectomy procedure yourself, or do you know someone who has? Perhaps you have valuable insights or experiences that haven’t been covered in this article. We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts, questions, or personal stories about vasectomy in the comments below. Your contribution could provide valuable support and information to others considering this option for contraception. Let’s continue the conversation and support each other on this important topic.

Related article: Postpartum Sex? – Sex on your own timeline

Interview with the daughter

1. Can you describe how you felt when you got your period for the first time?

I got my first period when I was 13. Thankfully, I was at home, so I didn’t feel too stressed and was pretty calm about it. I had already talked to my mom about it beforehand, which helped a lot. I was a little surprised when it happened, but that was the only real emotion I felt at the time.

2. Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about your period?

I really can’t complain, but I’m sure that might change over the years. Right now, I’m just happy that my period is quite regular, and I can tell when it’s coming because of a slight cramping in my abdomen. I don’t have much pain, and I’m still able to do all my usual activities.

3. How do you manage your period at school or while doing sports?

At school, I participate in sports, but if it feels like too much or if I’m not feeling well, my sports teacher is really cool and understanding and lets me sit out. In general, I don’t stress about it at school anymore—it’s just a normal part of life now.

4. What menstrual products do you use (e.g. pads, tampons, menstrual cup), and why?

I usually use pads because I find them the most comfortable. I’ve tried tampons, but I didn’t have a good experience with them. I also use period underwear, which works really well for me. I’ve only had positive experiences with it.

5. Do you feel comfortable talking about your period, or is it more of a taboo topic?

I feel very open about it, and it’s never been a taboo for me. It’s a natural thing, so there’s no harm in talking about it. Among my friends, we discuss everything, and we often share tips. It’s also treated normally in my family, so I can always ask questions or talk about it without feeling awkward.

6. Are there any resources or people you turn to when you have questions or problems about your period?

If I have any problems, I always talk to my mom. She’s really helpful. I also talk openly with my friends, and we share our experiences. Additionally, there are other women in my group of friends and family I can turn to for advice and tips.

7. Have you ever been to a gynecologist? If so, how did you feel, and were you prepared for what to expect?

I haven’t been to a gynecologist yet. In school, they told us you don’t have to go right after you get your first period. It’s really only necessary if you have any problems or when you have your first boyfriend.

8. What would you like to tell other girls your age who may be unsure or nervous about menstruation?

Menstruation is completely natural, and it’s part of who we are. We didn’t choose to have it, but it plays an important role in our lives. It’s not just there to make things difficult! I don’t think anyone should feel ashamed of it. Ignore negative comments, even though that can be hard sometimes.

We’re all different, and everyone’s experience is unique. It’s important not to let other people’s opinions change how you feel. Instead, we should be thankful for our periods because they’re a part of us. It shows how strong we are! So don’t feel ashamed—be proud of yourself and your strength.

9. How has your attitude towards menstruation changed since your first experience?

Before I got my period, I didn’t really think much about it, so my feelings haven’t changed that much. But over time, I’ve started to see it in a positive way. I don’t think it’s a bad thing when it comes anymore.

10. Are there any traditions or customs in your family or culture related to menstruation?

We don’t have any specific traditions or customs related to menstruation in my family. I haven’t come across anything like that, but I’d be curious to learn about traditions in different cultures.

Related article: Postpartum Sex? – Sex on your own timeline

Wrapping It Up: Creating Open Conversations

As you’ve seen from Sandra and Matilda’s experiences, every family’s journey with menstruation and puberty is unique. What’s most important is fostering an open, supportive environment where your daughter feels comfortable asking questions and expressing her feelings. Starting the conversation early and normalizing these topics can make a world of difference.

Now, we’d love to hear from you! Do you feel you were prepared for your first period when you were a young girl? Do you have any tips or advice for other moms on how to approach this topic with their daughters? Share your story with us in the comment section below, and let’s keep the conversation going!

References :

For Moms:

The Period Repair Manual: Every Woman’s Guide to Better Periods by Lara Briden

This book provides practical advice on managing and improving menstrual health, addressing common issues such as irregular periods and PMS. It’s a great resource for moms looking to better understand their own cycles and support their daughters.

Celebrate Your Body (and Its Changes, Too!): The Ultimate Puberty Book for Girls by Sonya Renee Taylor

Though this book is targeted towards younger readers, it’s a fantastic tool for moms to read along with their daughters, fostering open discussions about body changes and menstruation.

The Fifth Vital Sign: Master Your Cycles & Optimize Your Fertility by Lisa Hendrickson-Jack

A comprehensive guide for women of all ages that focuses on understanding menstrual cycles as an important indicator of overall health. It helps moms connect with their own experiences and feel prepared to talk openly with their daughters.

For Daughters:

The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls by Valorie Schaefer

This classic book provides an easy-to-understand guide to growing up, including menstruation, body changes, and self-care, making it a great resource for younger girls starting their journey.

Period Power: A Manifesto for the Menstrual Movement by Nadya Okamoto

A powerful and engaging book for teens, it breaks down the stigmas around menstruation and empowers young girls to feel confident about their periods.

Welcome to Your Period! Your Easy, No-Dumb-Questions Guide to Handling It Like a Boss by Yumi Stynes & Melissa Kang

A fun, relatable guide packed with practical tips and advice for young girls experiencing their periods for the first time. It covers everything from using products to managing cramps, making it a great resource for teenagers.

German Language:

Ready for red

Perioden-Aufklärung, die Spaß macht!

Nur für Girls: Alles was du wissen musst – ein Aufklärungsbuch für Mädchen ab 9 Jahren

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Meet the Author

Julia Kolbe, co-founder of No Taboo Mom, is a Berliner, psychiatric nurse, medical instructor, wife, and mom of two girls. Working in German healthcare, she saw firsthand the gaps in addressing women’s well-being, particularly during pregnancy and motherhood. These experiences inspired her to take action and advocate for a more holistic and compassionate approach to women’s health. “No Taboo Mom is about breaking the silence and fostering honest conversations. By sharing our stories, we empower women to navigate the unspoken challenges of womanhood and motherhood with strength and solidarity.